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What Is The Vedic Way To Get To Know Someone?

Questions to ask to get to know someone

When you have been matched with someone using Vedic Astrology, what is the best way to get to know them? How can we use Vedic Astrology to improve this process? What questions have you found useful in getting to know someone? What 36 questions have been proven to help you to get to know someone?

When having a conversation there are some conventions that are normally wise to follow. For example, if you meet someone and you immediately start talking about intimate traumatic events that are very emotional to you, it is quite likely that you will scare them off. You have to wait until you know someone well and have developed a level of trust, before you can talk about such issues. Depending on the culture of your land, the time it takes to reach that level can vary.

You don’t have to start with the superficial subjects like talking about the weather, what you do for a living and so on, but sometimes it helps.

How can Vedic Astrology help us to get to know someone?

You could ask your match what they have been told from their Vedic Astrology / Jyotish Chart about their Lagna / ascendent and their personality and which aspects of the description do they really relate with and feel to be true. If they haven’t had their Vedic Astrology / Jyotish Chart done, you can simply ask them to describe their personality.

You could then move on to the second house of wealth and ask them what makes them feel wealthy in life. For example, do they feel rich from the love they get from friends and family? What do they feel grateful for? However, moving around the houses of the Vedic Astrology chart in the normal order, may bring up intimate issues that are too soon to discuss. You have to be careful not to sound too nosy as if you are a gold-digger trying to find out how much they have in their bank. Play it by ear a little in terms of the order in which you ask these questions. See the basic details on Vedic Astrology Charts if you are not familiar with the houses in a chart.

How the houses in the Vedic Astrology chart cover all aspects of life

You may prefer to discuss the aspects of their life in this order instead:

  • 1st house – Lagna / ascendent – personality: How would they describe their personality?
  • 9th house – Dharma: What do they feel their purpose in life is? This can be related to their work but not necessarily.
  • 10th house – Career: What kind of work do they do or did they do before they retired?
  • 12th house – Expenses: What do they end up spending a lot of their money on (e.g. they may spend money to make money)?
  • 3rd house – Efforts: In what areas of life do they expend most of their energy?
  • 4th house – Assets: What are their main assets (e.g. what type of car do they have) and how do they feel about them?
  • 5th house – Education: What are they glad that they have learned in life?
  • 6th house – Health: What aspects of their life make them feel healthy?
  • 7th house – Partner: What would they like to find in a life partner?
  • 8th house – Longevity: What do they want to do before they die?
  • 11th house – Income: How do they derive most of their income? This is often related to their career and work but it can sometimes be different.
  • 2nd house – Wealth: What do they feel grateful for in their life and what makes them feel wealthy?

Of course this is a very simple analysis of a Vedic Astrology chart. Each house has multiple areas it covers. For example, the second house of Wealth is also the house that governs their speech and whether it will be sweet or rough at times and so on.

You may like to come up with your own list of questions and periodically slip them into the messages you exchange with your match. Or you could answer the questions you think are important when crafting the answer to the essay profile question “What do you want your match to know” on the Membership Registration form.

Or you could use the 36 questions that have been tested in research by Psychologist Dr. Arthur Aron to be effective in helping people to get to know one another is a short amount of time.

Or you could use questions which you have found yourself to be useful. If you do have some, please share them below in the comments so we can all benefit. Thanks so much!

All the best


Stephanie Chambers
Director of The Compatibility Club

The 36 questions proven to help you to get to know someone

Set I

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Set II

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

17. What is your most treasured memory?

18. What is your most terrible memory?

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?


25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling … “

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share … “

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

Followed by 4 minutes silently looking into each other’s eyes.